It can’t be. I’ve craved the return to school for weeks (if not more). I can’t be experiencing some weird sort of…well…missing it…can I?
Yes, I can. It’s not that I’m not happy to have the girls back in school. I am. Oh, I am.
It’s not that I miss the pool and the sun and the vacations. I do. Oh, I do.
I think it’s that the kids’ return to school, Jessica getting slightly older, and the (don’t laugh) fact that I’ve hired a cleaning company to help me now that I’m working so much, have all sort of changed this definition I had of myself.
I’m an overstressed, overworked, over exhausted, under appreciated, overwhelmed mum (I must be channeling my inner Brit tonight). Or, I was.
Suddenly I have time. I can breathe. I can think. I can make more choices. I have options. There’s flexibility.
And I feel guilty about it.
On the upside, I played field hockey with my oldest daughter tonight while my younger two wrote and colored. And it was awesome. Everything about it felt right. I was enjoying my kids. Actually enjoying them.
It doesn’t happen often enough. It if it does, I don’t remember to pause and catch it.
Maybe the two are related. Perhaps.