I don’t like to think of myself as a quitter. I can stick it through on most things. And part of my non-quitting is because I don’t like the thought of other people looking at me and thinking that I’m a quitter. So instead of realizing my limits and drawing the line, I sometimes push past the point where maybe I should call it quits.
Jessica is only two weeks old, and our breastfeeding relationship continues to be rocky. After not nursing Samantha at all (by choice) and then going to the opposite end of the spectrum and nursing Erica with ease for almost a year, I find myself in a difficult position right now. Do I continue breastfeeding, through pain, cracked and sore nipples, and resentment and hope for the great yearlong nursing relationship I had with Erica? Or do I stop now, have a couple of days of pain and engorgement, and then hope for the great yearlong bottle feeding relationship I had with Samantha? I just don’t know the answer.
I hate the thought that I might be a quitter. Having nursed a child for a year now, I do really realize the benefits and the ease that can come with breastfeeding. Is that in my future with Jess? If I stop now, will it be premature? How long do I give it?
I have seen lactation consultants at the hospital and at home, and I try my hardest to do everything “they” say…so I know I’m trying my best and doing everything I can. And obviously, I raised a beautiful, healthy daughter who never drank an ounce of breast milk.
So it must be the quitting thing. I don’t want to be a quitter. I don’t want to quit on Jessica.
I wish I knew what to do.