Those of you who suffer from depression and anxiety know how it can be the tiniest thing that gets to you. For me, it’s happened quite a bit in the past week, and always over something small.
I have a new business venture, which I adore, but there are parts to it that I am just learning. And as such, I’ve made mistakes. And I hate that. I hate failing and doing things wrong. I hate not knowing the answers to things. I hate feeling overwhelmed by such seemingly small details.
I know there’s a learning curve. But I hate the learning curve.
It makes me frustrated about things that would normally not frustrate me–it brings out the worst in me when I have this small thing provoking all this anxiety in me behind the scenes.
And then it gets worse because I realize that if I had been perfect…had done it right the first time…none of this would have happened.
It doesn’t make it any better to realize that there’s a solution to everything and that these small business-related issues are not earth-shattering.
In fact, it makes it worse. When I realize that, I get more upset with myself for not being able to handle such small things.
It’s four in the morning. I can’t sleep for all the things running around in my head…and none of them can be handled at four in the morning anyway.