You Can’t Go Home Again

I suppose you can. I mean, here we are. Home again.

But though I’m happy to be here, glad to be with family, and excited about our new house, coming home again entails so much more than I ever expected.

Part of the situation is, of course, that we are in a state of flux. Marcus isn’t home yet, we aren’t living in our house yet, and our things aren’t here yet. But all that aside, it’s amazing how hard it can be to move, even moving home, after three years somewhere.

I miss my friends in England, our house, our schedule and routine, everything. I miss my knitting group, grabbing the girls from school and heading to Anne’s for tea, and even knowing where to shop for the things I want and where they’ll be in the store.

Some of this is going to take time. And I know I can’t even really expect that clock to start ticking until Marcus is home and we’re moved in.

It’s so funny, because you get so much support when you move overseas–sponsors, meetings, support groups, newsletters…and even then it wasn’t always enough.

But when you move home, you’re coming home, and the support isn’t there. But it’s just as hard as the first move.

I know it will all fall into place, and that this was the right decision for me and for my family. But it’s still an adjustment. It’s still hard. And we’re still working at it…

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5 thoughts on “You Can’t Go Home Again

  1. Moving is always hard. Whether it be from one house to another…or one country to another. There are always homes, routines and people that you leave behind that you miss; but on the other hand, you have a new home to look forward to moving into, new routines to start and new people to meet. How sad it is for me to hear you say “But when you move home…..the support isn’t there.” What the hell does that mean? Do you not have a place to live? Do you not see one or more family members on a daily basis? You make it sound as if you are totally alone. You’re not, you know? I know it’s hard with Marcus gone, but he will be here before you know it, and you and your family will begin your life here in the US again.

    • I should have been more clear, mom. We get plenty of support at home from family.

      When we moved overseas, we lost our family support, so the govt. offered us support in a variety of ways–workshops, sponsors, support groups, newsletters, meetings, etc. And even then, it wasn’t always enough.

      But when we move home, we do have our family, so they don’t offer that same level of support.

  2. Whats funny is I am still in England and I miss all those things too. Once you and the girls left it isn’t the same either. I have no routine, I have no home, it is just me. Miss you and see you soon.

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