I kicked off this Lenten season with a retreat at my church–the first such activity that I have ever done.
I won’t lie–I was incredibly nervous. Especially when I read Anne Trufant’s bio and saw things about singing and guitar playing. My friend Rachel insisted that Anne was a wonderful speaker and that it would be a blessed day, however, so I worked up the courage to step out of my comfort zone and attend.
I am so happy that I did. The day was wonderful, and Anne really spoke to me on a personal level. Though there were parts of the day that weren’t familiar to me, there were other parts of the day that I suspect I will carry with me always. I never thought something like that was possible.
The theme for the day’s session was “The Eyes that See” and one thing we talked about was how when we pray, we are often wishy-washy. But the blind man in the Bible knew just what he wanted–I want to see, Jesus.
It reminded me that I often flit about in my prayer. God, help me be a good mother. Help me be a better mother. Help me learn to accept the mother that I am. Help me do what’s right. Help me stay cool and collected. Help me…help me…help me. I can’t find words for what I want from God.
I prayed on this over the past few days, and I’ve realized that what I want to pray to God for during this Lenten season, and perhaps always, is patience. I see that through patience, I will be able to do and be a good mother, a better mother, and I will be able to have the patience for myself that means I’ll be able to accept the mother that I am.
So my daily prayer throughout Lent will be for patience–for myself, for my friends, for my family.
If you have the opportunity to see or hear Anne (I was even touched by her music, which was not, as Marcus joked, all of us sitting around singing Kumbaya) , I highly recommend it. As a Catholic wife and mother, she really spoke to me.