One of the things that I’ve noticed about myself in the last few years is that I need some degree of predictability. I don’t need to have the same routine day in and day out, but I like to know what’s coming. I look at my calendar over and over again, just to be sure that I have things under control. It’s also how I, in part, cope with my illness. I know that if I get up every morning and eat something and take a few minutes for myself, I’m in a better way for the entire day. It’s the little things like that.
So, this past month has been difficult for me. It’s always hard for me to come back from holiday, especially one where I got three full weeks with Marcus and the girls. We have to get the house back into order and into a routine, and I have to readjust to Marcus working. It usually takes a week or so.
This month, though, has been difficult. With Marcus’ back, Erica catching a stomach bug, doctor’s appointments, thinking about things for Kiki’s wedding and making travel plans for the next few trips we are planning, and now Marcus getting sick…well, I feel like things are a bit crazy, and I can’t seem to get a hold of them.
That’s when I pull back. I have so much to do that I do nothing, instead. I have so much on my mind that I sit and knit and watch television, lest my thoughts drive me crazy. I start reading books at bedtime, instead of doing the laundry that’s piling up.
I need life to get back to normal.