Today I did something I have never done before…something I thought would never happen.
Today I sent two chapters of my novel to an editor for feedback and a price quote for a substantive edit on the novel. She won’t publish it, but she will help me polish it and prepare it for submission to publishers in the fall.
When I got the idea for my novel, while running one day last autumn, I never thought that I would get to this point. I thought that what would happen is what always happens with my writing. I get a good idea. I write 10-20 pages. I get bored or too bogged down with details. I stop writing. I never look back.
Instead, because of National Novel Writing Month, I pushed myself to write through those moments where I was overwhelmed or not sure what should happen next. I kept writing. And when the month was over, I had finished a 60,000 word novel.
Sure, it needed editing. I cut out a character. Added two others. Fixed grammar and crafted timelines.
But I did it all.
Now, I am taking the next step. It’s a big one for me. There is no turning back now.
Of course, I’m filled with angst. What if she says it’s terrible? Needs an entire re-write? Will cost more than I have saved for the edit? What if she says I just don’t have it?
Self-doubt is an overwhelming thing. Yet at the same time, I’m so proud of this work. I think it is the best thing that I have ever written. I think it’s real…I think I tap into real emotions, real worries, and real life. I think readers will read it and feel it…get caught up in it.
I hope so.