Within the past couple of months, I’ve had people friend me at Ravelry and write to let me know how inspirational I am–knitting so much in such a short time, knitting with two little girls around me, living overseas so far from family and friends, writing a book. Even how cute I look in my avatar picture!
Of course, I am quick to brush off their compliments. Quick to offer excuses.
I make time to knit, and often, my kids can be seen watching a Disney movie so that I can do so.
Living abroad hasn’t come naturally to me, and I’ve had hard times.
My knitting isn’t that great–look at all the mistakes!
My book probably won’t amount to much.
I don’t look that cute in real life. That’s just a remarkably good picture!
And it’s funny, because the other night my mom and I caught an episode of Sex and the City. Carrie was writing about how we are our own worse critics, and why it’s easier to believe the “bad reviews”? The Yarn Harlot has commented on the same phenomenon.
It’s just like this. Why am I quick to brush off compliments? Why is it that I find myself daunted by the idea that people might look at me and think I’ve got it together?
I think it’s because I’ve looked at others like that. Looked at friends or acquaintances and thought, “Man, she must know something I don’t.” Compared myself, and found myself lacking.
I don’t want anyone to compare themselves like that to me, because I know the truth about myself.
But I shouldn’t be so hard on myself.
I raise two beautiful, clever little girls. Who cares if they watch a Disney movie or two? And I’m a happier mommy because I do it.
Living abroad is an adventure many Americans would shy away from. Even if it hasn’t been perfect, I’ve done it, and taken advantage of all the opportunities at my fingertips. And we’ve loved it.
My knitting might not be perfect, but it’s pretty darned good. And I love it!
My book is amazing. It will be published.
I do so look that cute in real life.
Take that voices in my head. Maybe I’m inspirational, after all.